Sarah vs Miranda Lawson
by Venillashiz
Summary: Chuck's been drugged, Sarah's exhausted and irritated, while Casey's been laughing the night away. Just what in the world could be happening to Team Bartowski? Chuck/Sarah.


A/N: Hey guys, it's been a fairly long time since I last updated, huh? I've been trying to balance school work with playing Mass Effect 2. I managed to romance Miranda (Can I get a boo-yeah?) and I finished the game with only Jack dying. (:

This is my attempt at a _drugged _Chuck. He's high, he's been drugged, and he pays Sarah a visit! Think of this as my early Valentine's Day gift to all of you, even if there's absolutely nothing related to the day at all. Happy Early Valentine's! Love's in the air, and it's surrounding Chuck and Sarah. (Not Shaw or Hannah)

No thanks whatsoever to **theprincess1511**, since she didn't have time to beta this, but she's somewhat of a muse to me, so she's awesome! All mistakes are mine, and I expect them to be in the hundreds, sorry about that. Character death may occur in the next chapter. But it's not angsty in any way, no worries. Hope you can guess who dies, though. I think I made it pretty obvious here. There might not even be a next chapter – but we'll see about that, based on the number of reviews. (;

Disclaimers – I don't own Commander Shepard, Miranda Lawson, Mass Effect 2, Luke Skywalker, Chuck, the blonde jokes and the use of the word, "batshit". (Aren't you just dying to read this story?)

* * *

At 5a.m. in the morning, rarely would you find people awake. If you'd happened to look out your window, rarely would you see people bustling down the streets – unless they were participating in an early edition of the walk of shame. Rarely, would someone knock on your door at such an early hour.

But that was exactly what Sarah Walker was experiencing.

With a white-knuckled hand clenching the knife under her pillow, Sarah willed herself not to impale something in her anger. To say that she was exhausted would be the understatement of the year. She was beyond tired, the result of the gut-busting mission that Team Chuck had partaken in hours before. It involved running. Lots of running, because that's what marathons were for.

Their mark was a marathon-runner, and it certainly had felt like a bloody marathon when she was led on a high speed chase on foot after they had been compromised. She had eventually caught him, but she swore she felt her lungs explode somewhere between chasing him and catching him, about ten miles after they'd started. And Casey just stood there, loading their target into the armoured van, laughing at her while she coughed up a lung._ Asshole,_ she thought spitefully.

Slamming a pillow over an ear, she pressed the other into another in a futile attempt to block out the incessant sound of knuckles against her door. She was hoping that they'd bruise sooner or later.

"Sarah?" His voice reverberated through the heavy wood of the green apartment door, coming through as a mere whisper on the other side. She relaxed her hand, opening her eyes groggily. Then,

"Saaaarraaaahhhhhh…" It was ghostly, scary even. And for a split second, Sarah wondered if her knife was powerful enough to harm un-earthly beings. Then she slapped herself mentally for entertaining the thought that ghosts existed.

"Chuck?" She called out tentatively – if this was kind of sick prank, she'd go homicidally batshit.

The knocking carried on briefly, before a loud thump echoed through her room. Wincing as her muscles cried out, she snatched her Smith & Wesson pistol off her dressing table and inched closer toward the door, the illumination of the hallway lights allowing her a smooth passage with no bumps and bruises.

Careful not to alert whoever it was on the other side, she peered soundlessly through the peephole. The motionless mop of brown hair was all the signal she needed to wrench the door open – that oh-so-familiar brown hair.

He tumbled backwards to the floor, half his body still sprawled haphazardly in the carpeted hallway. She sighed in frustration, glaring at him as she crossed her arms. He stared up at her with a charming smile and a dazed look on his face, lifting an arm toward her face in an attempt to touch her smooth skin.

"Chuck," she sucked in a breath, trying to contain her anger. "What the hell are you doing here?"

His face fell, lips curling into an adorable pout, as he stared up at her with those eyes. Those deep, endless pits of chocolate – Sarah decided that looking into his eyes was somewhat equivalent to diving into a chocolate fountain.

When no reply came, she decided that getting him off the floor would be a good place to start. He stood shakily, holding onto her for support out of the nightmarish world of disorientation. He faced her with a lopsided smile, eyes brightening significantly.

"Miranda Lawson! Y-You're Miranda Lawson! It's me, Commander Shepard. Don't you remember me?"

She set her jaw, eyeing him with half-masked curiosity. "Shepard? Are you oka–"

"Yeah, yeah, you do remember!" He enveloped her in a deep hug, feeling her tense up as he wrapped his arms around her slender frame. As he rested his head onto her shoulder, he sighed in contentment.

Placing a reluctant hand against his chest, she pushed herself out of his tight embrace. She wasn't sure how to react to his gesture, obviously not meant for her, but for someone named Miranda Lawson, whom she guessed was one of his video game characters.

"Chuck," she said slowly, hoping that he'd snap out of whatever it was that was taking control of him – could he be drunk? No, he was too alert to be drunk. _Had he been drugged? _Now that was the question that had yet to be answered.

"I'm not Miranda Lawson."

"You're not?"

"No, Chuck. It's Sarah... Badass CIA agent… Your handler?"

His face morphed into an expression of deep disappointment, and she felt the pangs of rejection over the fact that he'd chosen a fictional character over her. "But, you look just like Miranda… How the…"

He lifted a clump of blonde hair that rested on her cheek, studying it closely as she stared at him with wide eyes. He nodded, tucking the strand gently behind her ear.

"That's right, Miranda's a brunette. You're Sarah!" He beamed at her, oblivious to her inner turmoil at the mention of her apparent _brunette _video game doppelganger.

"Sarah Walker," he started, trailing off slightly as he voiced her last name. "Sarah Walker. Sarah Walker." He chuckled, causing a hybrid of a smile and frown to grace her face. She seated herself on the edge of her bed, while he remained standing, prancing around as he continued to recite her name. Then, he leaned closely to her face – so close, that if it were anyone else, she'd be applying a sharp slap to their faces.

"I know that's not your real name. But you know, shouldn't you have a cover middle name?" He pulled away, continuing his little dance routine as he fluttered around her spacious apartment.

She sat up, fighting off the sleep successfully. She had never thought of having a cover middle name before. "What do you have in mind?"

"Skye," he said with a firm nod, as a matter-of-factly.

"Skye?"

"Skye."

"What's the significance?"

"Sarah Skye Walker. It's got a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

Then the realization struck her. She frowned.

"Skywalker? Are you asking me to name myself after Luke Skywalker?"

He nodded eagerly, smiling the brightest of smiles she had ever gotten in her life. Then she remembered that she was supposed to be angry with him for barging into her apartment at such an ungodly hour.

"Chuck, why are you here?"

He looked significantly hurt, his smile immediately faltering. Plopping himself unceremoniously onto the couch, he wrung his hands. No reply.

"Come on, it's okay, you can tell me."

He looked up, meeting her deep shade of cobalt. His eyes were glassy; tear-filled.

"No!" He cried out, like a defiant child refusing to obey his mother.

"Chuck, if this involves something important, it's pertinent that you tell me."

"But… but you'd punish me! You'd punish me like Ms Hallaway used to in elementary school."

Yep, it was definitely a drug.

"I promise I won't. Now, tell me what's wrong." Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, she talked softly; gently, in hopes of coaxing drug-induced-adolescent-Chuck into talking.

"Well… okay," he stared up at her with his sad brown eyes. "Ellie told me that I had to do my homework, but I didn't, because Morgan just got the new Mass Effect 2 game on the X-Box 360, and I just had to play it, see? So I started playing and I missed school for a few days then Ellie got mad, then I got sad, then I tried playing the last mission and Miranda died! And I couldn't let that happen, and I tried to re-load the game but I accidentally saved it and Miranda was gone! I mean, Shepard was in love with her – I was so in love with her! And she died!"

Then, Sarah did something that every woman would do, if their boyfriends suddenly became little school kids.

"Huh?"

"I knew that you wouldn't understand, Sarah! You're too blonde."

"What is that supposed to –"

"Oh! Let me tell you a blonde joke! What did the blonde's left leg say to the blonde's right leg?!"

"Chuck, I swear if you finish that joke, I'll –"

"Between you and me, we're going to make tons of money!"

"I'm going to rip your –"

"Another one! How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday?"

"I'm going to pull your scrotum over your –"

"Tell her a joke on Tuesday!"

"Chuck!"

"Yes, Sarah?"

"I'm going to kill you!"

She lunged toward him from the bed, knocking the breath out of him as he collapsed to the floor, his arms pinned down by the weight of her hands. And he laughed – a booming laughter, so loud, that Sarah almost considered shielding his mouth in hopes that her neighbours would not complain.

"Shut up, Chuck!"

"Hehe, okie-dokie, Artie-chokey."

He made a zipping action with two fingers across his thinly pressed lips, although he continued chuckling under his breath.

"Chuck, what were you doing before you came here?"

He looked at her expectantly, shaking his head and pretended to lock his mouth with a key. She rolled her eyes. "You can answer me."

His face morphed into one of confusion. "I already told you! I was playing Mass Effect 2, and I lost… M–Mirand…" He couldn't go on – a tear slipped silently down his cheek. She watched him incredulously, wondering what mankind was trying to accomplish by producing such drugs.

"Okay, but is that all you were doing? Did someone offer you… candy, or a drink?"

"Ellie gave me a slap, but that's not a snack. Oh, and that big bully, Big Johnny, pinched me really hard, I'd bet you five Twinkies that there's a bruise on my arm now!"

He lifted his head off the ground, turning toward his left arm in search of said bruise. Sarah remained thoroughly convinced that Casey had drugged him – someway or another. Yes, there it was – the little dot on his arm where Casey had injected something into him. A wicked grin sprouted at the unimaginable pain she would be inflicting on Big Johnny when she saw him.

"S–Sarah, is that a needle m-mark?"

Then Chuck's eyes rolled back into his head as he collapsed back onto the ground – not due to a flash, not due to the unknown – presumably harmless – drug. But due to his irrational fear of needles. Sarah sighed, finally climbing off the unconscious man who occupied her floor.

_What now? _She questioned, cocking her head to the side as she placed her hands on her hips.

Obviously, Chuck wasn't going to be getting off the floor all by himself. He probably wasn't going to get off the floor _at all, _and as much as she would love to wake up to him every morning, this wasn't how she wanted it to happen.

"Uuurghhhhh…" He groaned, eliciting the ghost of a smile from her. Pulling out her mobile phone, she dialled a number that she had memorized by heart.

* * *

"Sarahhhhhh…"

_Oh, that sounded familiar. _She'd been hearing it every five minutes for the past hour. She checked her watch again, wishing that the sweet sound of a door knock would come soon. She turned her attention back to her laptop screen, where the Wikipedia page for _Mass Effect 2_ filled the window; subsequent tabs for _Miranda Lawson_ and _Commander Shepard_ were opened as well.

"Yes, Chuck?"

"Sarahhh…"

Partly annoyed by now, Sarah answered with slightly more force. "What?!"

"Sarah," he whispered, softly now. "I love you," he breathed in a wispy voice – a caress to her ears.

She turned to him in slack-jawed awe, her ears already reeling. The words floated to her brain, where it was deciphered in a millisecond. _Love, _the brain had concluded. It was marked as _impossible_, sending the signals back with no analysis whatsoever. Then it reached her heart. And she felt it melt. And melt, it did.

Kneeling beside his still form, she tangled her fingers through his curly, soft locks, brushing a few loose strands out of his eyes. He wore a smile – the softest and most peaceful smile that Sarah had ever seen him wear, while the chocolate orbs that she longed to gaze into were shielded by his eyelids.

"Sarah?" The voice of her saviour of the moment, the voice of reason in both their lives, was the one to penetrate her thoughts from behind the main door. She was suddenly filled with a pit of regret at dialling Ellie to fetch Chuck from her floor. She had been so sleep deprived that she had trouble thinking up a plausible excuse as she spoke with the only brunette whom she was comfortable around, over the phone.

She took slow, deliberate steps to the door, greeting an exasperated Ellie with a hug and a kiss. Noticing Devon standing quietly in the background, she shared a look with him, knowing he'd understand that Chuck hadn't gotten to this stage of delirium by himself. But she smiled, reassuring herself that Casey was going to die soon.

"How is he, Sarah? Is my little brother alright? How could he have drunk himself so silly? Gosh, I'm sorry that he barged in on you at such an early hour! I could barely sleep either, though. John Casey must've been having a ball in his apartment – he's been guffawing the night away!"

"Easy, Ellie, he's fine. Just… a little… impaired, is all. And _John Casey _was _laughing_?"

"Yes, he's been laughing like a maniac, but I didn't have the heart to tell him to quieten down. He's such a shy and quiet man, and I think it's nice to know that he's got some form of entertainment… Even if it's at four in the morning," she scrunched up her nose, wrapping her lucky grey sweater tighter around her shoulders.

Sarah's eyes grew wide. "Ellie, could you give me a second?"

"Uh, sure, Sara–" Ellie was interrupted by a swinging door that nearly slammed into her face, jumping away at the last second.

Sarah raced back to her slumbering beau, running her hands over his body until she found the jackpot. Her hands stumbled over an oval shaped transmission bug, stuck haphazardly to the side of his chest, barely clinging on to his chest hair. _Oh, Casey, Casey, Casey, _she shook her head solemnly. _You are so dead!_

Opening the front door yet again, she smiled sheepishly at Ellie and Awesome.

"Hey guys, I think… it's best if Chuck stays with me tonight," she explained, feeling guilty for making the couple drive down in the middle of the night for nothing. She knew the right buttons to push when it came to Ellie, knowing that the older woman loved any prospect of any relationship advancement between the faux couple.

"He's taken care of me so many times, and the only time where he needs my help, I'm practically abandoning him. Since I'm his girlfriend and all, it's time I started taking care of him."

Pretending not to notice the wide grin on Ellie's face, she gave them each a swift hug before closing the door behind her. Breathing a sigh of relief, she pressed her back to the door, grinning as she heard the barely disguised squeals of delight from Ellie. Emotions, long forgotten, coursed through her veins as she shut her eyes.

"Was that Ellie?"

Her eyes shot open, eyeing the empty spot where Chuck had once rested moments before. She caught sight of him lying down on her queen-sized bed, his legs hanging off the edge.

"Yes, it was," she replied. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been hit by a truck and repeatedly kicked in the head by a really, _really_ pissed off horse."

She nodded. "That's a good sign. It means you're sobering up."

"Sarah, are you really going to take care of me?"

She was caught off guard by his question. _Had she really meant what she said?_ She didn't know what he thought, but she sure as hell knew what she did.

"Yes," she said, her voice cracking slightly. "Yes, I am."

"Lie with me?"

She obliged silently, resting her head next to his on the plush bed. Planting a kiss against her forehead, he grabbed a pillow, planting it under both their heads.

"Sleep now, Miranda Lawson. We'll defeat Casey tomorrow, and I'll make sure that you won't die."

A loud smack sounded throughout the room, followed by a loud wail of epic proportions.

"Geez, Sarah, can't you take a joke?!"

* * *

Thanks for reading! Anyone that reads my stories brings absolute joy to my heart. Yep, I'm being so soppy, but it's the truth!

Reviews are also, in fact, the chicken soup for my soul. (:


End file.
